A learned memory

Life to me is one big lesson. As long as we are alive it is our duty to keep learning, making new memories and gaining new experiences. My motto that I try to adhere to is to try and learn at least one new thing on a daily basis.

 

I have noticed about myself that the lessons that stick with me the most are the ones that were hardest to learn.  This concurs with the sentence "If you acquire the new skill or knowledge slowly and laboriously, that's learning."

 

I won't necessarily take someone's word, I annoyingly have to learn the hard way -- through experience. I cannot pick one specific incident that taught me the lesson I want to tell you about. Unfortunately, I learn the hard way which is seldom the fast way  in one single incident.

 

I would say, the time the realization became completely and painfully clear to me was after I had my son. I was new in a foreign country, alone with little/no family, none of my old close friends, not doing too well in the financial department either just to add the additional facet to my stress.

I had made some new friends: or I thought I had. I always helped them out in any way they asked or needed during the time I lived here. I didn't do it so that they would help me out in return, though I wrongly assumed that they would do the same for me. To me that's what friends are for.  

 

After the birth of my son I found myself struggling to cope and yet none of these so called friends were available to help me when I needed it. At the time this was quite shocking to me, I had always gone out of my way to help them in any way needed, many times putting my needs second to theirs. To realize that the people you cared about and you thought cared about you, truly only had their own interests in mind was a difficult lesson to learn, painful even.  

I have since learned not to totally give up on my belief, that we should be helping one another. However, I now will first take into consideration any adverse consequence  helping others may have to me or my family -- my one and only true concern.

Truth be told, I say it became clear after I had my son, I actually was aware of this prior to this period in my life. You could say that I hadn't learned this lesson to the full extent until I was truly left hanging at a time in my life when it was the most important not to be. As I said I learn the long and hard way, but it is one lesson I won't forget in a hurry.

I have learned the following: 

 

*Live for yourself, not only for others. No one else is going to try and please you if you don't try and please yourself.

 

 

*Don't judge people by your own standards if you don't like being judged by theirs, accept and respect that it is each to their own.

 

 

The feeling of being left hanging is a memory I would rather forget, but it is one I should never forget, for the memory of my experience of that period in my life has forced me to internalize an important lesson that in turn has helped me gain so much more from my life for myself and my family.